I read somewhere that the feelings of an older sibling when they have a new one at home is something like our hubby getting a new wife! And I think it is quite true, what will all the fuss over the new guy.

One of the question I usually asked my kids when there is a new sibling is whether do they think that my love for them will be less? Their answer is usually ‘Don’t know.’ Then I will go on to explain to them that love is not like a cake where you get a smaller piece if you cut into more pieces. Love is like a large apple tree where more apples will grow if you have more people to share with. Then they will imagine the love for them growing bigger and bigger each time I have more and more babies. It works for me ‘cos my sons aren’t that bothered with new babies. To them it is just another pet to play with. Oh yes, empowerment is another secret. They have the power to choose what clothes the baby is going to wear or do they think the baby is hungry etc. And when papa gets home from work, it will be something like this “Wow, papa luckily I have ko-ko to teach me how to handle ti-ti today. He helped me with (quote something significant) or else, aiyoh, I don’t know what to do.” That will make the new big sis/bro beaming with pride. Hope these tricks helped too.
- Lilian

I’ve also read about gift from the baby to older brother/sister and had prepared something for Laura from Ti-ti. Laura had also prepared something (she picked out a soft toy from her vast collection) for him and gave it to him the first time she saw him. She adores him and can’t stop kissing him but at the same time, I think she’s confused with what she’s feeling. I had a chat with her before she went to bed just now. My niece gave me a very good book called “Our New Baby”. In the book, the little girl and her parents are preparing for a new baby’s arrival and the book tells of how the parents are busy with the little girl helping out. Then, the parents had to go to hospital and the girl was with her grandmother. The story continues with the baby home with the parents and how everyone seems to be paying attention only to the baby and the little girl feels left out. She also wishes that she can hide the baby amongst her toys and hope he’ll disappear. Then, she made a funny face to scare him but instead of being scared, the baby laughed. When she realised she can “play” with the baby, she thought having a baby at home is not so bad after all.

We’ve always taught Laura to express her thoughts/feelings and she did say she felt left out as everyone seems to be busy with the baby. Laura had also been feeling helpless ‘coz everyone seems to have something to do for the baby but she doesn’t. So, she’s my little helper now. Getting the breastfeeding pillow and place it on my lap when the brother is ready to nurse. Fetching me the face towel, getting me glasses of water….
- Min