My mother was given an elaborate funeral according to Taoist rites. As I was pregnant then, I was not allowed to participate in most of the rituals, including the burial. But I saw to it that my two children witnessed the casket being put into the grave. After the funeral, we often passed by the graveyard and my children were comforted with the knowledge that only grandma s body was in the casket, but her soul was now free.

Though their daily routine was greatly disrupted with the change of environment, they coped pretty well.

Several years later and with the addition of my third son, they encountered the death of their paternal grandmother who died after a long illness.

This was followed by the death of their favourite kindergarten teacher, Colleen, a wonderful young woman who met with an accident while travelling to school one day.

We took all our three children to the funeral parlour to pay their last respects to her. At that time, my third son who was about five years old was rather solemn with the absence of his teacher; the usually chatty boy had fewer things to tell after school. Nevertheless, I assured him that teacher was probably teaching all the children in Heaven.

Several years later, he could still remember dear Colleen and wanted to visit her in the columbarium where her ashes were kept.

Not too long ago, my friend s mother-in-law had a heart arrest in front of her grandchildren. Her friend s hubby who is from the medical profession tried to revive his mother but unfortunately, she passed away. My friend s sons were only six and three then.

My friend was very sad and emotional, and at a loss as to how to pacify her two sons who were very close to their grandma.