(Photo take on June 22, 2003)Above are photos of my 4 boys. It
is not easy to get them to pose so happy, 'civilised' and loving towards
each other, believe me! They do fight and argue but thank God, what
matters is that they care about each other and watch out for one another.
One minute they may be clawing and screaming at each other but the next,
they will be rolling on the floor laughing at each other jokes or antics. However,
with the arrival of each new baby, both my husband and I tried very hard
to ensure that each of them are assured of our constant and ever increasing
love towards each of them individually. (Lilian)
|
 Before
the arrival of my baby Matthew above, I had another baby Vincent
whom was a premature baby who needed a lot of medical care. Taking
care of him has inevitably taken a lot of my time and thus almost
neglecting the other children. However, they have adapted well
and even helped as much as they can. Vincent has his own website
at My Little
Hero.
|
Below are some of the members'
comments on handling sibling jealousy and also how to prepare their
older child towards the arrival of a new baby.
The sight of a baby or even
soon-to-be-a-baby feotus (and almost anything to do with it!)
never fail to excite me, and looking at this tiny creature surviving
inside of me for the first time yesterday, I could not help myself,
I just giggled happily...hubby was standing near, showing that
to Beatrisya and said 'look at baby', she showed a blurred face,
she sure did...after all, it looked different from all the babies
she has seen. (read how Ros' elder daughter adapted to the new
baby on the next page)
- Ros
|
| |
| Laura
is very excited to greet the baby but is showing signs of jealousy.
These past couple of days, she's been doing things she normally
wouldn't do. Been defiant and seeking more attention than usual. I
don't blame her 'coz I can't spend as much time with her as I use
too. Explained all that to her before I delivered but guess
there's only so much a 3-year-old can grasp.
- Min |
| |
| It
must be very challenging coping with a newborn and sibling rivalry.
My older 2 boys are 3(Jeremy) and 6(Aaron). Aaron being the big
brother was all too fired up but Jeremy became independent overnight.
He was the baby at home at one point and then now the older brother.
Well, he did go through a period of wanting things his way in the
name of independence, throws a lot of temper tantrums and cries
for everything.....but he is slowly getting better with time. My
baby boy,Ethan is 7weeks old now and amazingly he is soo goood,
thank God.
- Angeline |
| |
| I
read somewhere that the feelings of an older sibling when they have
a new one at home is something like our hubby getting a new wife! And
I think it is quite true, what will all the fuss over the new
guy.
One of the
question I usually asked my kids when there is a new sibling
is whether do they think that my love for them will be less? Their answer
is usually 'Don't know.' Then I will go on to explain to them that
love is not like a cake where you get a smaller piece
if you cut into more pieces. Love is like a large apple tree
where more apples will grow if you have more people to share
with. Then they will imagine the love for them growing bigger
and bigger each time I have more and more babies. It works
for me 'cos my sons aren't that bothered with new babies. To
them it is just another pet to play with. Oh yes, empowerment
is another secret. They have the power to choose
what clothes the baby is going to wear or do they think
the baby is hungry etc. And when papa gets home from work,
it will be something like this "Wow, papa luckily I have ko-ko
to teach me how to handle ti-ti today. He helped me with
(quote something significant) or else, aiyoh, I don't know what
to do." That will make the new big sis/bro beaming with
pride. Hope these tricks helped too.
- Lilian |
| |
| I've
also read about gift from the baby to older brother/sister and had
prepared something for Laura from Ti-ti. Laura had also prepared
something (she picked out a soft toy from her vast collection) for
him and gave it to him the first time she saw him. She adores
him and can't stop kissing him but at the same time, I think she's
confused with what she's feeling. I had a chat with her before
she went to bed just now. My niece gave me a very good book
called "Our New Baby". In the book, the little girl
and her parents are preparing for a new baby's arrival and the book
tells of how the parents are busy with the little girl helping out. Then,
the parents had to go to hospital and the girl was with her grandmother.
The story continues with the baby home with the parents and how
everyone seems to be paying attention only to the baby and the little
girl feels left out. She also wishes that she can hide the
baby amongst her toys and hope he'll disappear. Then, she made
a funny face to scare him but instead of being scared, the baby
laughed. When she realised she can "play" with the
baby, she thought having a baby at home is not so bad after all.
We've always
taught Laura to express her thoughts/feelings and she did say she
felt left out as everyone seems to be busy with the baby. Laura
had also been feeling helpless 'coz everyone seems to have something
to do for the baby but she doesn't. So, she's my little helper
now. Getting the breastfeeding pillow and place it on my lap
when the brother is ready to nurse. Fetching me the face towel,
getting me glasses of water....
- Min |
|
