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PREGNANCY BLUES - here
are some thoughts on pregnancy blues and what some of our views are:
| My girlfriend
is pregnant with her second one and she was commenting on how disappointed
she is with DH this time around - he has been so busy with work that
he has been rather insensitive to her pregnancy this time around.
I am trying for our second one, but it sounds a little
scary. Everything is so settled now, and DH is just 'perfect' - well
as much as i can realistically hope. He seems excited about another
one, but are they really able to share the excitement as they did
with the first one?
I know some women worry about their hubbies thinking
them fat, or not sexy enough - but that seems like a first time pregnant
thingy. After one, we know how DH is about such issues. Aren't pregnancy
worries different when it's the next one? I stand back and wonder
if he will understand that so many things will be different, what
about housework ? Finances? And I’m not even pregnant yet! Will
looking fat still be a worry? Am i normal or worrying too much?
|
Men think differently from us.
They are always like that. First time, very "kan cheong" second
time around, ai! ya! normal only.................
Don't let their insensitiveness hurts you.
Except for the few lucky ones , most of us grow one size bigger after
pregnancy and have many unsightly scratch marks. After giving birth,
go for sensible healthy meals and appropriate exercise. Yo! Sheela,
tips need here! Regular exercise and good eating habits will take us
a long way to achieve our desired body weight. Plus, our work coupled
with the children, bf, the household chores and all is enough to make
anyone lost weight!
And I do think, physical attractiveness alone is not the most important
thing in a marriage. No matter how slim and pretty we are, there'll
be younger and prettier girls than us. The key to a happy marriage got
to be communication. Don't let work, children and other commitments
take precedence over private time with your DH. The changes that occur
after bb arrives are inevitable. However, we should take the changes
in stride and learn to cope with them effectively without compromising
on our relationship with each other.
Perhaps, Cleya, you could tell your friend not to worry so much about
the pregnancy blues, just relax concentrate on child no.1 and enjoy
this special time.
Nice to have you on board,
Jennifer
|
| We should practice
a healthy lifestyle so that we can live a long healthy productive life.
It should not be done to please someone else. It is actually not very
difficult to maintain a healthy weight as long you care for yourself.
What you eat is very important. If you care for your body & mind,
you should consume healthy food. This should go hand in hand with REGULAR
exercise. Eat everything moderately.
I lost 40lbs in 1 1/2 yrs thru healthy eating &
exercise. Manage to do it while bf my 2nd boy (bf him without formula
for 2 1/2 yrs). We should not go into fad diets as you will not be
able to maintain the weight loss for long. I am still maintaining
my target weight for 2 yrs now. Since losing the weight I am healthier,
have more energy with my boys & my outlook in life has certainly
changed for the better.
-Sheela
|
| About the question on whether
husbands get less loving with each child, I would say that it has to
do with that woman's self-esteem. Even if she is still 36, 24, 36, (inches
lar, not age) she will still have her doubts if she choose to think
that she is not measuring up to her husband/friends/publics expectation.
For women like these, nothing can help them except themselves. Not Marie
France, not botox, not plastic surgery. Do you all get sick of reading
those Speaking Up/Dear Thelma letters that say, I am fat, I am black,
I am short.......?' If I am the person answering, I will tell them -even
if God gives you thinner body/fairer skin/ taller (whatever they wish
for), they will still find something they are not satisfied with.
Sorry, got a bit carried away with self-esteem stuff. Want to know
how men feel about getting more and more kids? Read Today's Parents
June issue. I enjoyed knowing what En. Idris feels (his original interview
reply was much, much longer) about getting more kids. My conclusion
is - men enjoy having lots of kids! Even my very reluctant husband
(whom prefer only one kid) dreams of having lots of grandchildren
in future!
_________________
Lilian
|
| Thanks for all
the sharing. It is so nice to know that there are normal moms out there
with healthy and realistic body image.
But i still haven't quite gotten the answer to my
true question, which is are pregnancy worries the second time around
any different from the first? When i mentioned weight worries, i meant
that i know it is usually more an issue for the first kid. You have
all confirmed it! Having had 2 and even 5 kids, i can see weight isn't
an issue at all anymore! (so comforting)
But what about finances, housework? Do these things
become areas of contention more than the first time? Ya, men can be
elated to have 10 kids, but are they as helpful to massage your feet
and back as they did when you carried their firstborn? What is the
general experience on this? I know men are not all the same, but generally
- i have lived long enough with one and chatted enough with women
from other marriages to know that they can be quite similar across
the board in many areas. It's so freaky to agree for a second one
and then have him suddenly get too busy at work to help as much as
you thought he would... more than one mom i know is wondering how
to have a second one when their hubbies can't seem to get their act
together even for the first one!
CELYA
|
| Maybe I have gone off topic a
little. There really is such a condition as pregnancy blues or pre-natal
depression. It is a medical condition and if it is severe, I guess the
pregnant mom ought to bring this matter to her ob-gyn attention. In
this situation, the world around her is still 'normal' but the hormones
upset made her think and feel otherwise.
However, there can also be situations
where the matter is not related to the pregnancy but probably the
problems exist with or without baby/pregnancy. In this case, I guess
MMB hasn't come to the level of marriage counselling yet.
_________________
Lilian
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