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QUESTION - Are we too extremist/militant in
breastfeeding?
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I had been doing
a little observation. And also lots of reasoning. I notice that majority
of moms fled from us rather than scurrying to join a breastfeeding
support group. Take for example the feature in TP. And in Star Metro.
I expect an avalanche of newbies but getting only handfuls. Why? Because
no moms want to breastfeed and thus, scared of us? Probably, we had
sieved almost all the breastfeeding moms who are computer literate
into MMB and there is none left out there. That's why I had been using
the tagline - Parenting website with a heart rather than using anything
breastfeeding. .
I wonder if members agree with
me that those moms who have no intention of getting into breastfeeding
will usually evade us? Are we too militant?
Lilian (co-owner, moderator and
mom of 5)
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Me
think that if any of those non-bf moms evade MMB, it's probably bcos
they might be like a sore thumb, u know, not knowing what is going
on. A lot of non-bf mums I meet always say that bf is good, and they
keep saying how good i am to my kids, blah blah blah, and when i ask
them why they don't bf, it's either no milk or too "mah-fan
Mom to Leonard (17/05/00),
Lucas (28/11/01) and Laurenz (21/06/03).
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Just
remember something one of the doc told me while in UH. Recently, she
went to another Gov hospital for some lecturing and she is sad to
see that the awareness on the goodness of bfg is not in the lower
income group. The moms are so used to the goodness of the 'much inferior
alternative' (you know what lar) through the aggressive media exposures.
So these moms who can't afford the expensive but the alternative,
resorted to add cereals and sugar in the diluted milk. Many of us,
the higher income, do not feel the pinch of the RM40+ per tin but
the poorer moms do. So, they use diluted version and mixed with cereal.
The end result - a baby who is very fat but lacking nutrients and
ended up sick. And not getting well as fast.
So, I think it is up to us
moms, the more highly educated and blessed women, to help bring
awareness to all moms. It is only through our group efforts that
we can counter the aggressive marketing. It is sad that babies'
life and well-being are affected by marketing. If this had happened
in some third world country, then I will probably try to not get
so geram. But this is happening in our very own Klang Valley.
That's why the other day during
the UH distribution I often started my conversation with the sentence
- Kami dari kumpulan penyusuan ibu. I hope that sentence stays in
the mind of the moms there. There are a lot of moms who have newborns
and hope they see that susu ibu is great. If only we have influence
a few moms in UH that day, I am satisfied that we had done something
good.
So, let's be militant in a
good way
_________________
Lilian (co-owner, moderator and mom of 5)
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I
agree that the people from the lower income group would resort to
adding cereals in baby's milk coz I know people who do it. My colleague’s
friend even started feeding baby solids at 2 weeks. Yes weeks... the
baby is so overweight and unhealthy the doctor has said that she needs
to go on a diet. On the other hand another colleague of mine who is
a Sexy-turkey once said in a blur blur tone said: " Ummm ya..
BM is not good for baby right? Naturally I quickly but tactfully corrected
her. She is preggo now. Let's see if can convince her to bf. I know
that there are many moms who feel guilty about bf even though they
don't say it out loud. Some may not even admit to themselves that
they feel guilty (I call that living in denial).
When we reach out to the public
like this, we will only attract people who have a desire to be a
part of our group. Those who are on the fence or have tried bf and
says is too difficult, milk sudah habis/dry up, no time.... they
are the ones that we need to sit down and over time enroll them
to the idea of bf. Here the soft, " I understand" approach
is vital. They will run away if they feel threatened in any way.
_________________
Doreen - Mum to BB Liz born 10/10/03 McB for eight months. I'm lovin
it and still going strong!
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it is not easy for
people to admit they have done something wrong, that's why we often
heard people saying not-enough-milk. we see a lot formula advertisement
on TV, but have you see any breastfeed campaign on TV? TV is the most
powerful weapon of influence. The private sector will never do a BF
commercial, the only hope is from the government, even though if the
health department decide to do it, but judging from those health campaign
shown on the TV, I don't expect very much from it. I had been to ante-natal
class, someone asked the midwife what happen if not enough milk, she
said just keep trying, can't be no milk, it is mind over matter.
Lilian if you said our way are too militant, then all this 200 over
member are the BF army .
I think if we say:"try BF
lah, but never mind lah if you have not enough milk, can use formula..."
what would you think the result will be? sometime have to use force
wan lah.
_________________
Maria (mother of twin girls--Isabelle & Annabelle, born 25th Nov
2002) |
Maria,
when you said "sometimes have to use force" I agree with
you 100%. When I gave my elder child her first bottle of formula after
giving in to the pressure from MIL and confinement lady (them constantly
telling me I don't have enough milk), my colleague scolded me over
the phone. And that very evening, she came to my house with her elder
sister. And both stayed in my house for 4 hours, 'forcing' me to bf
my baby. And my colleague's elder sis brought her 8-mth old bb, lifted
her blouse and bf in front me. Before this, I've never seen a mother
bf before, so when I saw her McB popped out in front of me, felt shy
also.. hehehhe....
Anyway, to cut the story short,
from that evening onwards, I bf my first child until she was 11
months old without finishing that tin of formula which I opened
when she was 2 weeks old. And now, I am the one who 'force' my friends.
Starting from when they are preggers. Keep drilling into them. I
don't think I am an extremist or a bf fanatic. Just felt angry with
wrong information previously received and what ignorance can do.
Not only MIL, even mothers who care for their daughters during confinement
can also do lots to discourage bf!
_________________
Moommy to two little ladies (2yrs11mths & 12mths).
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Heh,
my mum was just like that. She kept saying I’ve got not enough
milk bcos I don't leak, my breasts don't kembang, and she was a nurse!!!!!
Later I found out that it was bcos she worried that when I go back
to work, it would be difficult to feed my son with the bottle. But
to deprive my baby of the best thing in the world??????
my 2 clerks in the office also
the same-no milk no milk no milk. I even loaned the 1st one who
delivered my Medela Pump In Style. But she only express once a day,
and after that claimed there was no milk. I asked her why she only
express once a day and not more, and also didn't b'feed directly,
she said her babysitter said "mah fan" Cekik darah. Makes
u wonder whose baby it was, hers or the babysitter.
_________________
(SM)
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am an adoptive breastfeeding mother. When I wanted to bf my babies it
was for these reasons:
1. McB is the best milk for my babies. I want the
best for them.
2. Religion, I want to make my babies mahram (which means it is not
a sin for me & my family to be in contact with them when they
reach adulthood)
3. Bonding
It was hard work mind you and I raised a lot of eyebrows.
However support from my family & lactation counselor helped a
lot. Not to mention all the sistas in this group. I like that word
Sh. Other than that it was and still is a lonely journey. I don't
have an abundant of BM like all moms do but for me every drop counts.
I do have to complement with formula due to this situation. There
are some adptv moms who don't. I guess I am not as lucky as some of
them. So sistas, it boils down to your choice, passion and who benefits
from this experience.
(ID – an adoptive breastfeeding mom)
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I
think it's not evading - it's the 'tidak apa' attitude. Breastfeeding
requires passion and these people don't have it. Many moms I know
don't breastfeed bcos
1) too 'troublesome'
2) not enough milk (resulting from not feeding through the nite)
3) dunno how to
A lot of their problems can
be solved by reading up or signing onto a forum such as this. But
will they ? No! They don't bother to. (and we are talking about
well-educated people with access to books and computers) How to
change attitude like that ? Then again, I believe that a big deterrent
is the employer and the issues of pumping while working.
_________________
S-Y
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