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QUESTION - Are we too extremist/militant in breastfeeding?

I had been doing a little observation. And also lots of reasoning. I notice that majority of moms fled from us rather than scurrying to join a breastfeeding support group. Take for example the feature in TP. And in Star Metro. I expect an avalanche of newbies but getting only handfuls. Why? Because no moms want to breastfeed and thus, scared of us? Probably, we had sieved almost all the breastfeeding moms who are computer literate into MMB and there is none left out there. That's why I had been using the tagline - Parenting website with a heart rather than using anything breastfeeding. .

I wonder if members agree with me that those moms who have no intention of getting into breastfeeding will usually evade us? Are we too militant?

Lilian (co-owner, moderator and mom of 5)

Me think that if any of those non-bf moms evade MMB, it's probably bcos they might be like a sore thumb, u know, not knowing what is going on. A lot of non-bf mums I meet always say that bf is good, and they keep saying how good i am to my kids, blah blah blah, and when i ask them why they don't bf, it's either no milk or too "mah-fan

Mom to Leonard (17/05/00), Lucas (28/11/01) and Laurenz (21/06/03).

Just remember something one of the doc told me while in UH. Recently, she went to another Gov hospital for some lecturing and she is sad to see that the awareness on the goodness of bfg is not in the lower income group. The moms are so used to the goodness of the 'much inferior alternative' (you know what lar) through the aggressive media exposures. So these moms who can't afford the expensive but the alternative, resorted to add cereals and sugar in the diluted milk. Many of us, the higher income, do not feel the pinch of the RM40+ per tin but the poorer moms do. So, they use diluted version and mixed with cereal. The end result - a baby who is very fat but lacking nutrients and ended up sick. And not getting well as fast.

So, I think it is up to us moms, the more highly educated and blessed women, to help bring awareness to all moms. It is only through our group efforts that we can counter the aggressive marketing. It is sad that babies' life and well-being are affected by marketing. If this had happened in some third world country, then I will probably try to not get so geram. But this is happening in our very own Klang Valley.

That's why the other day during the UH distribution I often started my conversation with the sentence - Kami dari kumpulan penyusuan ibu. I hope that sentence stays in the mind of the moms there. There are a lot of moms who have newborns and hope they see that susu ibu is great. If only we have influence a few moms in UH that day, I am satisfied that we had done something good.

So, let's be militant in a good way
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Lilian (co-owner, moderator and mom of 5)


I agree that the people from the lower income group would resort to adding cereals in baby's milk coz I know people who do it. My colleague’s friend even started feeding baby solids at 2 weeks. Yes weeks... the baby is so overweight and unhealthy the doctor has said that she needs to go on a diet. On the other hand another colleague of mine who is a Sexy-turkey once said in a blur blur tone said: " Ummm ya.. BM is not good for baby right? Naturally I quickly but tactfully corrected her. She is preggo now. Let's see if can convince her to bf. I know that there are many moms who feel guilty about bf even though they don't say it out loud. Some may not even admit to themselves that they feel guilty (I call that living in denial).

When we reach out to the public like this, we will only attract people who have a desire to be a part of our group. Those who are on the fence or have tried bf and says is too difficult, milk sudah habis/dry up, no time.... they are the ones that we need to sit down and over time enroll them to the idea of bf. Here the soft, " I understand" approach is vital. They will run away if they feel threatened in any way.
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Doreen - Mum to BB Liz born 10/10/03 McB for eight months. I'm lovin it and still going strong!

it is not easy for people to admit they have done something wrong, that's why we often heard people saying not-enough-milk. we see a lot formula advertisement on TV, but have you see any breastfeed campaign on TV? TV is the most powerful weapon of influence. The private sector will never do a BF commercial, the only hope is from the government, even though if the health department decide to do it, but judging from those health campaign shown on the TV, I don't expect very much from it. I had been to ante-natal class, someone asked the midwife what happen if not enough milk, she said just keep trying, can't be no milk, it is mind over matter.
Lilian if you said our way are too militant, then all this 200 over member are the BF army .

I think if we say:"try BF lah, but never mind lah if you have not enough milk, can use formula..." what would you think the result will be? sometime have to use force wan lah.
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Maria (mother of twin girls--Isabelle & Annabelle, born 25th Nov 2002)

Maria, when you said "sometimes have to use force" I agree with you 100%. When I gave my elder child her first bottle of formula after giving in to the pressure from MIL and confinement lady (them constantly telling me I don't have enough milk), my colleague scolded me over the phone. And that very evening, she came to my house with her elder sister. And both stayed in my house for 4 hours, 'forcing' me to bf my baby. And my colleague's elder sis brought her 8-mth old bb, lifted her blouse and bf in front me. Before this, I've never seen a mother bf before, so when I saw her McB popped out in front of me, felt shy also.. hehehhe....

Anyway, to cut the story short, from that evening onwards, I bf my first child until she was 11 months old without finishing that tin of formula which I opened when she was 2 weeks old. And now, I am the one who 'force' my friends. Starting from when they are preggers. Keep drilling into them. I don't think I am an extremist or a bf fanatic. Just felt angry with wrong information previously received and what ignorance can do. Not only MIL, even mothers who care for their daughters during confinement can also do lots to discourage bf!
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Moommy to two little ladies (2yrs11mths & 12mths).

Heh, my mum was just like that. She kept saying I’ve got not enough milk bcos I don't leak, my breasts don't kembang, and she was a nurse!!!!! Later I found out that it was bcos she worried that when I go back to work, it would be difficult to feed my son with the bottle. But to deprive my baby of the best thing in the world??????

my 2 clerks in the office also the same-no milk no milk no milk. I even loaned the 1st one who delivered my Medela Pump In Style. But she only express once a day, and after that claimed there was no milk. I asked her why she only express once a day and not more, and also didn't b'feed directly, she said her babysitter said "mah fan" Cekik darah. Makes u wonder whose baby it was, hers or the babysitter.
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(SM)

 

I am an adoptive breastfeeding mother. When I wanted to bf my babies it was for these reasons:

1. McB is the best milk for my babies. I want the best for them.
2. Religion, I want to make my babies mahram (which means it is not a sin for me & my family to be in contact with them when they reach adulthood)
3. Bonding

It was hard work mind you and I raised a lot of eyebrows. However support from my family & lactation counselor helped a lot. Not to mention all the sistas in this group. I like that word Sh. Other than that it was and still is a lonely journey. I don't have an abundant of BM like all moms do but for me every drop counts. I do have to complement with formula due to this situation. There are some adptv moms who don't. I guess I am not as lucky as some of them. So sistas, it boils down to your choice, passion and who benefits from this experience.

(ID – an adoptive breastfeeding mom)

I think it's not evading - it's the 'tidak apa' attitude. Breastfeeding requires passion and these people don't have it. Many moms I know don't breastfeed bcos

1) too 'troublesome'
2) not enough milk (resulting from not feeding through the nite)
3) dunno how to

A lot of their problems can be solved by reading up or signing onto a forum such as this. But will they ? No! They don't bother to. (and we are talking about well-educated people with access to books and computers) How to change attitude like that ? Then again, I believe that a big deterrent is the employer and the issues of pumping while working.
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S-Y