Post-natal blues – Mothers’ views

My girlfriend is pregnant with her second one and she was commenting on how disappointed she is with DH this time around – he has been so busy with work that he has been rather insensitive to her pregnancy this time around.

I am trying for our second one, but it sounds a little scary. Everything is so settled now, and DH is just ‘perfect’ – well as much as i can realistically hope. He seems excited about another one, but are they really able to share the excitement as they did with the first one?

I know some women worry about their hubbies thinking them fat, or not sexy enough – but that seems like a first time pregnant thingy. After one, we know how DH is about such issues. Aren’t pregnancy worries different when it’s the next one? I stand back and wonder if he will understand that so many things will be different, what about housework ? Finances? And I’m not even pregnant yet! Will looking fat still be a worry? Am i normal or worrying too much?

Confinement practice/post-natal rituals – Part 11

I think confinement is a good time for mums to rest, but without all the pantang larang. Would have love to have someone do all the work for me and just breastfeed the baby and sleep with them, but all the CLs that I talked to wasn’t supportive of breastfeeding, so I decided to go solo.

I didn’t follow any of the pantang larang, bcos my mum didn’t, and her mum didn’t either Seriously, I can’t find a good reason to, and not bathing is definitely something I can’t do. After having Leonard, it was heat wave season, and after bathing with warm water, it was still so warm that I bathed with cold water after that. Took too much chocolate after having #3 and had bad constipation

My mum helped me with Leonard for 1 week, and after that I went home bcos her house is sooooo hot, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
So with all 3, I basically stayed home with the baby myself, and sometimes DH will bring food back, sometimes I cook myself. Do other things also like laundry, watch tv, surf the net, bathe the baby, ironing clothes and go shopping. Have to climb staircase also cos I live on the 4th floor with no lift, and carry the baby myself.

So far so good, no aches in my body that did not come from something I overdid or strained myself.

I think taking the heaty stuff that makes us sweat is for the body to produce more milk, since the breast glands are modified sweat glands. I did take some Chinese tea during a dinner during the confinement month, and I could see it reduce my breast milk. Took nasi briyani and boomed the supply shot up again. Must be all the herbs in the rice.

My MIL followed all the pantang larang diligently for all her 13 kids, but still got arthritis and all sorts of aches in her legs and hands. So IMHO, we can rest all we want, but if we still have to wash clothes, mop the floor, cook and iron and do everything else for the next 40-50 years of our lives after and while having the kids, we’re bound to ache.
Mom to Leonard (17/05/00), Lucas (28/11/01) and Laurenz (21/06/03).

Confinement practice/post-natal rituals – Part 10

I heard from someone before, the reasons why women in confinement were asked not to shower, and to wear few layers of clothes, etc. and it was exactly the same as what Min has explaining, i.e. they were practiced in China in the old times, and probably passed down to our grandmas, and mas, and now, us.

Anyway, Min, I did the same exact thing with my second child. I didn’t hire a CL because the first one stressed me out! Was not a supporter of BF either, curi curi give my elder daughter formula! This time, I just taught my maid how to cook the chicken with the wine. Black Chicken with herbs. And to boil red date water everyday. Veges, I still consume as per normal, and papayas everyday to avoid constipation and to boost milk supply. And two weeks postnatal, after feeding the baby, I went to 1 Utama with my elder child and have a nice 2 hours there, sipping hot chocolate and window shopping.
Moommy to two little ladies (3yrs & 13mths).